A few weeks back I was forwarded an email from Wexford Arts Centre. It was information about a bursary available from Wexford Arts Council to attend the upcoming Theatre Forum Gathering in Waterford. The two bursary recipients would recieve free tickets to the event, and 300 euro to cover travel, accommidation, and other expenses.
“That sounds cool,” I thought.
“No way I’ll get it,” I thought.
But I had a few minutes spare, and it wasn’t a very long application form, so I reckoned there was no harm in applying.
And I was awarded a bursary!
Now to some people 300 euro will seem like pittance. To some it will be a fortune.
300 euro to spend exclusively on two days of theatre talks and performances? To me that is like winning the lottery!
Not only is it a great networking opportunity, but it also just sounds like a fun few days.
Of course, once the delight of the successful application faded, the Fraud Police sirens started ringing.
Why had they given it to me?? I’m not a real profession, I’m just some chancer!
Had they made a mistake?? Was it a prank?? Would I turn up and everyone would point and laugh at the Weird Girl pretending to be a Real Actor???
I told the Fraud Police to fuck right off.
Something I’ve learned (and it took me a long time to learn it) is that everyone, no matter how experienced, how successful, how talented or hardworking, feels like a fraud sometimes. Everyone feels insecure and underqualified.
The people that don’t? Those are the ones that are truly unqualified.
So, if you see a cool opportunity come up, but think to yourself: “There’s no way I’ll get that.”
APPLY ANYWAY!
The worst they can say is no.
Saoirse Wadding-Hayes | Actor, Poet, Theatre Maker 